Everyone has their own little quirks, eccentricities and conceits, but mine are never more obvious than when I’m in the kitchen.
What’s more, I never really noticed how strange some of my habits were until I had other people joining (and observing) me in the kitchen. That second set of eyes somehow made me more self conscious about my actions, especially once they were called into question. But, let’s get to some examples, shall we?
I am the master in my own kitchen. The Everyman so rarely uses our kitchen that everything is arrayed in a manner that is convenient to short little 5 foot 3 and 3/4′s me. Being that there’s about a 1 foot height difference between us, you can see how this might be rather inconvenient for him. Even though he’s ridiculously tall, for some reason I prefer to balance precariously on the counter than ask him to be tall and retrieve things for me. Of course, as some of you may remember, my doing so has occasionally backfired on me; you may refer to all the times I’ve fallen off the counter as proof of this. Yet, despite the number of times this has happened, I’m still obstinately climbing onto the counter to retrieve that teapot from over the stove, or returning the stockpot to the cupboard above the fridge. Old habits die hard, I guess.
Because the Everyman doesn’t use the kitchen much, my near constant obsession with rearranging stuff can sometimes end up grating on his nerves. I’m always trying to find that optimal balance between style and efficiency, and even if I have moved the colander to 20 different places in the kitchen since we moved in, I can tell you where it is right now. Of course, there are some kitchen gadgets that are so rarely used and have been moved so many times that I have no clue where they are anymore. But, the way I see it, I don’t use them often anyway, so what does it matter, right? Where this becomes an issue is when the Everyman comes into the kitchen once or twice a month and can never find the things he needs without becoming thoroughly exasperated.
Another odd quirk that I wasn’t even conscious of until recently is my habit of not cooking meals if I think they might make too many dirty dishes. Thinking back over the last 6 months to a year, in hindsight I notice that I do this quite a bit, but it didn’t become apparent until I got the Kitchenaid mixer. This is the first house I’ve ever lived in that’s had a dishwasher; previously I was the dishwasher so you could say it’s become ingrained in me through servitude. I’ve noticed that since acquiring the stand mixer I internally rationalize over whether or not I will use it. The mental dialogue usually ends with me convincing myself that I don’t need to get anything dirty, so I’ll just whip those egg whites or mix that dough by hand. And the funny thing is, I didn’t even catch on that I’ve been doing this for almost 2 years, until a few months ago. At which point the logical, rational part of my brain said, you have a $600 machine in your kitchen. $600 is a lot of money for you. You should use this damn machine as many times as you can fit in to justify that price. Nobody needs a $600 doorstop, after all.
And then, there’s the habit I’ve had the longest. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been going into the kitchen and searching through the fridge while cooking, walking away and leaving the fridge door open. Yes, that’s right. Open. I know how bad this is not only for my appliances, but also for the environment, but it is a personality defect I have as yet been unable to break. As near as I can figure, I do it to save time, because I might theoretically have to go back to the fridge to retrieve something at some point, and leaving the fridge open shaves a few nanoseconds from that retrieval. I’ve watched myself do it (as if I was a third party observing this) before, and even when I’m fully aware that I’m doing it, it still doesn’t register enough for me to actually close the door.
I also do this with water, I’m told. I will turn on the faucet to rinse a rag and wipe down the counter, but leave the faucet running whilst cleaning the kitchen counter. It happens so often that the Everyman has taken to subconsciously following me around to turn off the tap. I have absolutely no explanation for this particular behaviour other than to hazard a guess that perhaps it’s the perceived inconvenience of having to adjust to the correct temperature again. And again, I know this is a waste of water and a drain on our natural resources, etc. Believe me, I’m working on it.
So now I’ve given you a tiny glimpse into my neuroses. I know I’m not alone here with the kitchen habit oddities. Speak up and share with us the weird little habits you might have. Who knows, through sharing it might help us all to get over them.
Until next time…
