Yesterday, after surprisingly little prodding, I managed to successfully coerce the Everyman into joining me for an afternoon at the Royal Agricultural Winter Fair.

As far as I can recall I don’t think I’ve ever visited “The Royal” before, but if I did, it was probably during some grade school field trip or something nearly 20 years ago.  I can vividly recount visits to the Winnipeg version of The Royal, if for no other reason than the presence of Bonhomme (du neige).  Bonhomme is the mascot of the Quebec winter carnival, but there’s a surprisingly large French population in Winnipeg, so for some reason he makes an appearance there, too.  The toboggan slaloms were pretty awesome as well, which unfortunately isn’t something we’d ever see in Ontario, I imagine.

Up until a few weeks ago I really had no yearning to go to the Ontario Royal.  But, when I met my editor Sheryl at Pantry for lunch a few weeks ago (aside from having an utterly scrumptious mushroom and oxtail tart) she made an off-the-cuff remark that made me wonder how much of a foodie destination The Royal might be.

I’d intended to visit last weekend, but was too bagged from my disastrous week at work to do anything more than what little I did.  Earlier this week I almost changed my mind about going altogether, due again to more exhausting work conditions.  But, after an invigorating jaunt around Kensington market yesterday morning to procure supplies for dinner and finish up some Christmas shopping, I made the decision that I absolutely had to go.

It must be said that while The Royal is oodles and oodles of fun, it’s also decidedly hardcore.  This is not a carnival/festival/fair/tradeshow for wussies.  It’s big.  It’s intimidating.  And it makes for an afternoon filled with an awful lot of crowded shuffling around.  But, it really is an untapped food lover’s paradise, as well as a field of dreams (as the Everyman put it) for cow lovers like me.  And despite the slow crawl that we kept up during all of our laps, we both had a really good time sampling food at many of the booths, checking out various kinds of booze and strolling gaily through the cow paddock.

After close to 3 hours inside, we amassed quite a load of comestibles.  As is the case with any food-related show, the Everyman leaned heavily on the meats, while I stuck to the majority of cheeses, with some condiments sprinkled in for good measure.  The surprise of the day was that I also managed to find my dad’s Christmas gift, but will not be revealing it here, just in case.

Of the meaty mediums, we came home with;

• 2 bags of Carmichaels regular pepperettes
• 2 bags of Carmichaels Cajun alligator pepperettes
• 1 bag of Carmichaels Kangaroo pepperettes
• 2 chunks of European Quality Meats prosciuttini
• 2 large spicy European Quality Meats proscuitto-like sausages
• 2 mystery European Quality Meats sausages that they put in the bag for free

I should note that every time we go to some sort of convention, the Everyman always seeks out the Carmichaels booth.  He stocked up when we went to the Home Show back in September, but didn’t want to run out any time soon, hence the need for 50 more pepperettes.

I (on the other hand) was on a mission for cheese.  I’d perused the exhibitors list before leaving the house, and knew that there were at least 2 dairies whose booths I wanted to stop by.  Along the way though, I ended up finding a few more.

Here is my inventory of dairy goodness;

• 2 chubs of Woolwich fig goat chevre
• 1 tub of Woolwich blueberry and pomegranate chevre
• 1 wedge of Monforte toscano
• 1 wedge of Upper Canada Cheese Niagara Gold
• 1/2 lb of Traditions of Thornloe unsalted butter
• 1 wedge of Traditions of Thornloe Evanturel
• 1 wedge of Traditions of Thornloe St George

It’s certainly more cheese than we necessarily needed, but once I got started I couldn’t really help myself.  There were only 2 things that I tried that I didn’t end up buying, and that was the Casey Blue from Traditions of Thornloe and the Comfort Cream from Upper Canada; both of which I found much too assertive.

Adding to the pile, I also stopped at several booths filled with condiments, though I thought I managed to restrain myself quite well.  The only thing I regret not getting was the birch syrup, but the line was so long I just couldn’t wait for it.

What I did manage to procure;

• Pristine Gourmet blueberry baco noir wine vinegar
• Kernal Ontario-grown peanut butter
• From These Roots strawberry lilac jam
• From These Roots black currant violet jam
• From These Roots pear pansy jam
• From These Roots blueberry lavender jam

As a general rule I try not to ever buy jam at these kinds of shows since I already have a whole bookshelf-ful at home, but also because as much as I love jam (and I love jam), I don’t eat enough of it to justify buying more.  I pacified my lapse in judgment by telling myself that they’re only the mini jars of jam that you normally get at hotel restaurants, but even still.  I know once I crack open a bottle, I’m going to be hooked (like I am with Rootham’s) and I really don’t need any more jam habits.

Lastly, to round out all of the food, we stopped at the LCBO booth to grab the Everyman some Beau’s Natural Beer and some Southbrook Framboise wine for me.  I really quite enjoy fruit wines, and am dismayed that they aren’t nearly as prevalent as they were when we went to Quebec City.  And though I’m not a beer drinker by any stretch, even I was seduced by the clever ceramic packaging employed by the boys at Beau’s.

So, after what seemed like an eternity walking up and down row upon row of tchotchkes, farm exhibits and food, we finally decided to grab a quick poutine, cop a squat on the floor to eat it, and then head for home; our bags overflowing with delectable edibles.

It seems I’ve found another food-related tradeshow to add to the must attend list for next year.  I’d encourage you to do the same.

Until next time…

I could sit here and tell you about the drink I ordered at Czehoski’s that the Everyman loved so much he had to chat up the bartender and then get denied the recipe (a tequila meggy, incidentally).  Or about how I’m still stunned that the local bakery owned by a guy I went to highschool with (Messa Bites) was supplanted by some hipster-looking coffee house called Ezra’s Pound.  Or I could even talk about how tired all the swine flu references are becoming (point it jumped the shark for me was when someone in my monthly all-hands meeting at work coughed on me and then said I hope you don’t mind, I had ham for breakfast).  But no, today I won’t dwell on those matters…

I’m a bit flummoxed. Over a week ago I sent in an order to Homeland to secure dirt for the garden that is rapidly expanding and outgrowing my basement.  After not hearing back from them for a few days, I decided to call.  The person I got on the other end of the line was at best indifferent and at worst rude, and basically told me they were on the other line talking to someone and they would call me back later.  So, being the kind-hearted soul that I am, I again gave them the benefit of the doubt.  That was 4 days ago.  I still haven’t heard back from them, and I refuse to call again.  Clearly they don’t need my business that badly if they can’t even be bothered to call me back.  To make matters worse, all of the other places I’ve contacted for quotes on dirt have not gotten back to me either.  Though in the process of searching I did unearth a new and potentially delicious garden product; cocoa nibs as ground cover.  I’m sure they smell heavenly, and as long as they mulch half decently, I think I know what I’ll be going for.  Unless, (as the Everyman suspects) they attract more rodents.  I spent all of last summer involuntarily giving my melons away to the squirrel and raccoon population that terrorized our deck; I do not plan on a sequel.

In the meantime while I wait to get my own garden in order, I can take comfort in the Trinity Bellwoods Farmer’s Market for homegrown produce, which starts a week tomorrow.  I was most looking forward to getting in touch with the cheese vendor who turned me on to Oh My Stars last year, but for the life of me I can’t remember who it was (my gut is saying either Monforte or Ewenity, though neither make mention of it on their website).  If it happens to be Monforte I’m essentially out of luck, because from what I read on their website recently, 2009 is their renaissance while they are in the process of raising money and building their new state of the art facility, thus no new cheeses are being produced.  Mostly, I just can’t wait to run my fingers over the bushels of fresh, local foods.  Get me to a farmer’s market and I’m like a kid in a candy store, unable to control myself.  If you’re an old reader, you’ll remember how crazy my coworkers thought I was when I showed up with 12 quarts of strawberries after visiting the Metro Hall market one lunch hour (the spoils of which are still cluttering my preserves cupboard).  Or how nutty the Everyman thought I was when I insisted I needed to buy 2 dozen ears of corn to roast on the bbq and save for winter (he rolled his eyes at the time, but once he tasted it, he changed his tune; too bad our cat sitter left the freezer open all Christmas break and all my quick frozen summer produce got ruined).  Primarily I’ve been wondering what else they’ll have for me that’s new.  I do so love the surprise and uncertainty that weekly fresh marketing holds because it’s impossible to plan a menu until you get there and feast with your eyes.  And feast I will and so should you!

Until next time…